Tori and Jade Discuss Important issues
by IAmVictorious
Summary: Well, there's no meaning to this. Its just a cleverly written parody i guess... "So why'd you write it?" Because its a free country, Jade. "Your wasting people's time." Shut up! Welcome to an interactive advice story! i hope!
1. Plagiarism

Hello readers, it is I, Ronnie. _And Jade!_ And... Jade. Here to talk about a very important issue. _What's the issue?_ I'm glad you asked, Jade. The issue at hand is plagiarism. _And now Tori says, 'What's plagiarism?' I was not going to say that! ...what is it?_

Well Tori, I'm glad you asked. Plagiarism is when you take someone else's work and claim it as your own. _Wow! What kind of gank would do that? _The kind of gank that would steal song lyrics, book chapters, and playwrights. _Playwrights? I write plays! _Yes, I'm aware of that, Jade.

_So this is an everyday issue? _Indeed, Tori. Happens every day in the entertainment business. _That's terrible._ It is. But would you girls like to know how to fight is and some facts about it?

_How?  
_  
Well, it's simple really. _If it's so simple why haven't you explained it yet?_ Wow Jade aren't you just something joyful? _Yeah, Yeah, get on with it. _Okay…. Well did you know that plagiarism is a criminal offense? _Whoa, seriously?_ Yup. And, did you know that you can get 10 to 15 years for it?

_Holy chiz. _That's not even they half of it. If you do it in school, you can get kicked out and expelled. _Isn't that the same thing?_ Who knows the facts here? _You, but I mean, whatever._ Yeah I don't know a lot about it, but what I do know is that one of my stories got plagiarized yesterday.

_Oh, what story?_ Uh, something about locker coffee and sticky notes. _Can we read it?_ I don't think that's such a good idea... _Oh come on, please Ronnie?_ Um I have some cookies to go check on. _You're lying! _Really? You could tell? Anyway, this is going to be a discussion of things you guys want us to talk about. Don't have to be anything special, just, something to talk about. _Please don't ask anything stupid!_ Yes, Tori, that's a nice point to get across. Until next time- _If there __**is**__ a next time._ Shut up, Jade. Until next time, ciao!

**Okay so idk what this was. I was mad about someone stealing my story so I made this. This will not be a one shot, in fact, leave a review telling me what you want Tori and Jade and I to discuss. This story is purely for humor. So yeah, please review!:D**


	2. Ship Wars

Not that many reviews, so I picked a topic off the top of my head.

_What's today's topic, loser?__  
_  
I'm not a loser, West, and the topic is bulling.

_Oh like how Jade bullies me?___

Precisely.

_Vega, no one's bulling you.__  
_  
_Are you sure about that?__  
_  
Guys.

_Yeah, I'm quite sure.__  
_  
Guys!

_Not now, Ronnie!___

But we need do discuss the topic at hand! It's the reason why you two are here!

_Okay what about bulling do we need to cover?__  
_  
The fact that you pester Tori.  
_  
__HA!__  
_  
_Oh ye hoo! Like one conversation is going to change my opinion about you!___

_Stranger things have happened, Jade.__  
_  
Er, where exactly is this going?

_I have no idea. We need a new topic.___

_How about the fact that all your ideas are stupid?__  
_  
Whoa, who you talking to? Me or Tori?

_The both of you! This isn't even a good story! Your topics are just random and boring!___

Well! If that's how you feel then why don't we see what Cat has to say about that!

_Hi!__  
_  
Good morrow, Cat.

_Why are you talking like Robbie, Ronnie?___

That nerd talks like me? Figures. Anyway what do you think we should talk about?

_Ship wars!__  
_  
Oh god no, little red! Anything but that!

_Ship wars? As in pirates?__  
_  
Ah, er, not exactly, Tori.

_I have a bunch of ships!___

Cat, now is really not a good-  
_  
__If she has ships I want some too!__  
_  
Tori, it's not exactly what you-

_What are ship wars, Veronica?__  
_  
Ah! Don't call me that! How would you like it if I called you-

_Don't say it-___

Jadelyn?

_Your full name is Jadelyn? Oh God that's priceless!__  
_  
See what you've done, Cat?

_Me? You're the one who brought me here!___

Touché.

_Why are we talking about butts now?_

I said **touché **not **tushy!** Jesus, she's off her rocker. Anyway, do any of you guys know what shippers are?

_People who ship stuff?__  
_  
Yes, Tori, in a way... They ship two people together.

_Like Noah's ark?___

Not exactly, Tori. They ship people as a couple.

_Like Noah's ark!__  
_  
No, forget the damn ark! Ugh! Okay, anyone know what an OTP is?

_One true paring!___

Good, Cat!

_What does this have to do with us, circus freak?__  
_  
And the insults just keep coming! You never take a day off, do you, Jade?

_Nope.__  
_  
Well, people... Ship you guys with other, people. And they fight about it...

_Huh?__  
_  
It's not that simple Tori, it's more complicated then you can imagine. It's complex.  
_  
__How are people pairing us with other people complex?__  
_  
Ah, er, um they do stuff. Like write stories.

_Like how you write stories?___

Not exactly like me, but yes!

_She's talking about fanficton!__  
_  
Damn it, Cat!

_Whaty?___

I didn't want to go too deep into that!

_Why not?_

Because...

_Because what?__  
_

___Because she writes fan-__  
_  
Okay! I think that's enough, Cat! Until next time-

_Stop saying that! I hate that!___

Okay, how about, goodbye until next time!

_You still said until next time!__  
_  
Yeah, well I say a lot of things, Jadelyn! GOODBYE!

**lol this was easier to write then the first one. And a lot funner. Is funner a word? Ah well, thanks for the few reviews I got. And a special thank you to ithinkilikeknivestoomuch395 for the idea of the explanation of ship wars…. Sort of. Well, I gotta go finish the sequel to Coffee and Sticky Notes and the next chapter of Mirror, Mirror. Peace! :D **


	3. FanFiction

Ah, here I am, once again, feeling I lost but now and then, I breathe it in, to let it go-

_Seriously?_

What? It's your song. And it's quite catchy.

_Okay... What's the topic for today, Ron?_

Thank you, Tori, for the even shorter nickname.

_You're…. Welcome?_

_**Oh for Pete's sake she was being sarcastic, Vega!**_

Indeed, I was.  
_  
Whatever! Just give us today's topic!_

Wow, someone's a snippy little songstress.

_That's a word?_

Yes, you want to spend the whole chapter discussing it?

_No._

Then let's move on.

_Gank._

I heard that. And thanks to a certain redhead, we are discussing the topic of fanficton.

_That thing about people shipping people and all that junk?_

Yes, thank you Tori, for unnecessarily dumbing down what I just said.

_**And I thought I was the mean one.**_

Oh, you are. I'm just not in a good mood.

_Why not?_

Because now I have to explain something I don't want to because of Cat!

_Hey, it was your idea to bring her here._

_**Again, your ideas are stupid.**_

And you're both single so who's ideas are stupid now?

_Hi!_

Cat what are you doing here?

_I came to help!_

No! You helped enough last chapter!

_But I wanna help!_

Ok, ok! Fine! You can help!

_Yay!_

Okay, Cat, what is fanfiction?

_Fanfiction is a series of amateur stories written by the fans about us. _

I think I already covered that. And that actually made you sound smart!

_Thanks! And about the pairings..._

Oh God...

_There's a bazillion!_

Not really it's only like, 20 something. But continue.

_And each story goes from K to M._

That's true, go on.

_Wait, what's K through M?_

Ah, um, it's like G, PG, PG-13, and Rated R.

_Why do they categorize it like that?_

Well, Tori-

_Cause some are silly and fun, some are actiony,_

That's not a word, Cat.

_And some are romantic and mushy!_

*Cough* Some more than others...

_Wait people write this stuff?_

Yes, Tori, I think we covered that already.

_Well what are your stories about?_

*Cough* What?

_**Yeah, Ronnie. Tell us, what do you write about?**_

I uh... Well... You see... I write about people, with places, and things.

_**Yeah, that really sizes it up for us.**_

_I know what she writes about!_

Cat, seriously!

_What does she write about, Cat?_

_What does who write about?_

_**Ronnie!**_

_Oh she writes about us!_

What? Psh! No I don't! She's lying!

_How do we know?_

What do you mean how do we know? SHE'S CAT! The girl puts candy in her bra!

_I have proof!_

No you don't!

_Now it seems like your hiding something._

Jeez, Tori! I'm not! You know what? I'm ending this right now! Until next time, peace!

_**This isn't over, Ronnie!**_

Yes it is, Jade! I said so!

_**Well I'm saying it's not!**_

Who's running this chiz though?

'…'

Exactly! GOODBYE!

**Ok so this… was interesting lol thanks to Sea-Green93 for the idea of discussing fanfiction! Review if you want us to talk about your idea! Welp, those chapters wont write themselves! (Oh how I wish though!) P.S. Jade is the slanted writing in bold now and Tori and Cat are just slanted writing. lol Peace! :D**


	4. The Olympics and One Direction

**I dunno, I wanted to write something but not something long. So I updated this! Yay? Lol idk review I guess.**

Tori: Ronnie!

Yeah?

Tori: What's today's topic?

Just, um, huh. I don't have one.

Jade: Thank God!

It's nice to see you too, Jade.

Tori: I got a topic!

Okay, let's hear it.

Tori: The Olympics!

Why the Olympics?

Jade: I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Rex's twin. The Olympics are nothing but a waste of energy.

Says the girl who cuts up everything she sees.

Jade: Keep it up and I'll cut your lips off!

Graphic. Tori? Anymore ideas?

Tori: One Direction?

Oh! Good one! Jade? Any thoughts?

Jade: I don't like them. They're just your average carbon copy run of the mill bubble gum pop boy band. Plus their music is stupid.

Tori: I like their music!

Jade: Which makes sense because your you, and their music is stupid.

Tori, I think she just called you stupid.

Tori: *sigh* It's not the first time.

Jade: Anyway, back to Two Directions-

One Direction.

Jade: Whatever. They still suck.

Sorry Tori. I'm gonna have to agree with jade on this one. They are a wee bit annoying.

Tori: Says the girl who has What Makes You Beautiful as her ringtone!

It's one song! I like one song!

Tori: And you know them all by name!

What? No I don't! I only know Harry, Niall, Zayn, Louis, and Liam!

Tori: That's the whole band!

So? That doesn't mean I'm a 'Directoner'!

Tori: You're right. But you still like them somewhat.

Well you like Ke$ha, and she's no better.

Tori: Leave Ke$ha out of this!

Oh now Miss Cheekbones is taking offence?

Jade: You two are idiots.

She started it!

Tori: No, you did!

You're the one who brought up One Direction!

Tori: …Touché.

Ok, well, since we don't have anything else to talk about, I suppose it's time to say goodbye. So, bye!

**A/N: Alright, how was that? I can't keep making chapters if you guys don't suggest stuff! So? Get to suggesting! Peace! :D**


	5. Bronies, Ponies, and Batteries Oh My!

**Hi! Haven't seen this story in a while. But my good friend SKRowling's story Ask Us We Dare You made me want to rekindle this story! Plus, the next chapter of Notice me is talking longer than I expected. (I have a ton of regents this week) and writing a whole chaptered story is gonna take a while. So please take this as a waiting gift! Enjoy! Also, don't forget to suggest something to talk about!**

* * *

Ah, it's good be be back!

How's it going, Ron?

Good! I'm glad I get to see you guys again, Tori!

Same here! *smiles*

Wait, where's Jade?

*Tori looks at me confused* I have no idea!

*Jade storms into the classroom scissors in the air* I AM GOING TO KILL HIM!

Oh look, there she is.

Shut it, suckfish!

*Tori rolls her eyes* Let me guess, Beck?

*snort* Most likely.

*Jade rolls her eyes* Why is it that every time I'm mad you two always assume it's about Beck?!

Because it always is.

*Tori nods* It's true.

*Jade is angry now* Suckfishes!

How long did it take you to come up with that?

*Even more* Buttcheek!

And that one?

*Jade sticks her scissors in my face with a snarl*

Any more questions, Veronica?

N-No. N-None at all.

Good. Now what have you got for us to talk about?

Uh..*flips through a clipboard that had appeared out of no where.*

*Tori looks confused* Where'd you get that?

*I shrug* I dont know. And...Ah! Today's topic is...*looks confused* Why Jade wears muscle shirts all the time?

*Tori grabs the clipboard* Who wanted to know that?

*I shrug again* Chiz if I know.

*Jade snatches the clipboard from Tori and reads it* The reason why I've been wearing muscle shirts lately is because I've been working out. There. Happy?

*Tori and I snicker*

What?!

Oh, nothing just...Whatcha working out for?

*Tori tries to stifle a laugh but fails*

For this. *Jade smirks and then punches me in the stomach* Does that answer your question?

*Tori stares in horror*Jade! Was that really necessary?!

*Gasp* Oh my god, I think she broke my lung.

*Tori runs over to me to help me up as Jade rolls her eyes*

Oh come on Vega! She'll be fine! She'll just need a minute!

*Tori softly pats my back as i regain my breath* Speaking of minutes how the hell did you survive getting a car battery dropped on your head?

*Tori nods* Yeah, Jade, how did you survive that?

Uh... I don't even know. I guess pure luck?

But then you should have been crippled. Like, vegetable crippled.

*She shrugs* I guess im immune to being hurt.

Oh so you wouldn't mind if i did this? *I launch at Jade and try to punch her but she trips me with her combat boot and i land on Sikowitz's stage.*

*Tori sighes* You guys should stop before you hurt yourselves.

Tori, darling, you're right. Why dont we get to the next subject?

*Jade quirks a brow* And that would be?

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!

*Jade snorts* You're joking right?

Friad, not, Jade.

Oh! I love watching that show with Cat! *Tori smiles* I love the purple one! She's smart just like me!

Twilight Sparkle.

Yeah, her!

*Jade rolls her eyes* That Pinkie Pie reminds me so much of Cat it's frightening.

*Tori nods* Right?

Wait, Jade, if you dont watch the show, how did you know who Pinkie Pie is?

*Her eyes grow wide* Well- I- You see-

*Tori giggles* You watch MLP! Oh my chiz you watch MLP!

Jade's a closet Brony! WHo would have thought!

*She's seething now* I am not! I just... i just watch it whenever Cat's over okay?!

Robbie said you joined the Brony club at Hollywood Arts and swore him to secrecy.

*Jade's nostrils are flared* WELL IT'S NOT MUCH OF A SECRET NOW IS IT?!

Uh, Ronnie? *Tori gulps*

Y-Yeah Tori?

*She grabs me and flings the door open* RUN!

*We run out into the hallway* I guess this is the end of the chapter!

*Jade shrieks* AND BOTH YOUR LIVES!

We'll see you next time!

THERE WONT BE A NEXT TIME WHEN IM DONE WITH YOU!

Oh god Tori, run!

* * *

**A/N: So how was that? Eh? i include actions now so it seems more...realistic? idk. Anyway, review and request stuff that you want us to talk about. A recent episode, the cancellation, yada yada yada. or, just tell me what you think! Welp, im gonna go watch Vampire Diaries now. Peace! :D**


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